Love the one you love

I read this article about a Turtle couple of 115 years seeming to end their relationship. You can read it here:   http://now.msn.com/living/0608-tortoise-divorce-after-115-years.aspx

I then read the comments. Some were funny. Some were not.
 "...

jamesjk1972

10 minutes ago

i'm sure she was a nag like the rest of them. I dont know how married men do it. I see wives just bitching in the stores and talking to their husbands like they are stupid. So glad I didnt marry. ..."

This comment struck a cord with me...it's something I've thought about before and, to be frank, is a serious pet peeve of mine: women belittling their men to their friends. So, this is what I have to say at the moment.

I find it sad and ridiculous when I hear women tearing down their man, taking absolutely no responsibility for their relationships. Sure, there are men that are crap houses but there are equally as many women who have mastered the art of being crap burgers! 

I chose a good man, he treats me well because I treat him well--to be honest, he probably treats much better than I treat him.  We have mutual respect for each other and we work on compromise rather than being "right" over each other.

We do fun things together, we talk to each other (as opposed to talking AT each other), we work together, we worship together, we are stupid and silly together. He and I have been best friends for over 20 years from when we were teenagers to now having teenagers (heaven help us!). 

I never got into marriage thinking about his "potential" as many girls do. He was already high quality; already hard working, already respectful, already a good friend, already self sufficient, already whole and complete without the need of a woman--wife or mother. He was everything he needed to be.

He didn't marry me to rescue me, to take care of me, to protect me, etc..., which many men marry for, and, oh, so many women look for. He didn't marry for a trophy or for social status within our various communities.

No, we married because we actually like each other. There's nothing he would do that I cannot take and like wise he can handle all the dumb things I do and say.

We never talk poorly of one another as we love each other more than any other. We would never paint an unbecoming picture of the other for anyone to envision. When we disagree we talk about our disagreement and make solving it the goal rather than bullying the other into submission or turning it into emotional warfare and competition of who can hurt the other or make the other "pay" more. Our relationship is what we cherish and coddle--not our individual egos.

It's all in what you put in and what you have to offer. If you're a wounded soul looking to be completed; you will soon feel stifled by the "overbearing" protective boundaries your partner has placed. If you're looking to be a blessing to your equal in every way, well, then you have something solid to stand on.